yeah the cute sweet guys r great. so cute and so sweet. but thats not all i want. at this moment i could care less about that. i just want someone that wants to have a great time. someone who just wants to have fun and just go crazy instead of sitting there with so much spoken feelings.
OMG so freaking done with u. can u just leave me alone when i ask ! and quit with the constant BS lies.
you keep telling me u want to start hooking up again. and believe me i really really want to. u were the best and i loved it with u. feelings or not i like it. im not afraid to get feelings back. i kno i wont. but no matter how much i want to. something keeps telling me no. maybe cuz i dont wanna be an option. maybe cuz i dont wanna give u what u want. neither of those reasons seem like they matter tho. i cant figure it out but something is just telling me no. so im gonna stand strong and show u what i can do. i dont kno why yet. but maybe this will help.. maybe not. they say u regret the things u dont do. i dont wanna miss out on this. but i dont wanna go backt. im all mixed up.
i just started tearing up and crying. idk why. it kinda just randomly happened out of no where. i keep hurting people and im just gonna keep hurting more and i dont like this. my feelings always confuse me. and just when i think im ok things come back. and just when i think i know what i want it changes. things r complicated. this has been the longest time i havent cried. almost two months. but i guess it was too long and my body missed having tears haha
so i dont really know what to do. if he hooks up with other girls i honestly dont care. i like to know, im interested, and a very curious person. but the thing is he wants to know what i do to. but whenever i tell him he gets jealous, even if he tries to hide it i see right thru it and i can tell it tears him apart. even if im just with a guy and im not texting him he will get paranoid and text me like crazy when i cant answer. i wanna just keep it from him but i love being honest and open, i hate lying, and what if he finds out anyways. then all trust is broken. dammnn :/ what to do.
sometimes i like this kid soooo so much. then other times.. less more recently.. but other times its like ew and want nothing to do with him. its weird annoying but its whatever. i found myself getting the smallest bit jealous the other day.. mostly cuz im selfish like always :P i do miss him tho.
i never really think i like this kid. sometimes i just like hanging out and i dont want anything more. but then i cant help but go to kiss his neck and then once in awhile we have those kisses that are like wow. this is annoying haha
